Going beyond just befriending youth

"Mr Chua, what is your least favourite dog?"
I was a bit surprised, as it wasn't a topic I thought about much at all, "Rottweillers, I guess."
"That's what most people say. On 'A Current Affair' last night there was a segment on trying to breed out pit bulls, and it made me really angry. I really love all dogs and other animals."
For the next five minutes, he talked to me about his views about the issue, and how he had just written a letter to 'The Age', and that he was going to do his English Oral presentation on the topic coming up on Monday.
Before we parted, I told him I was very keen to hear about his final report.

As I walked back to my office, I couldn't help but smile and feel very happy. This year 10 student of mine had hung back after class had finished and initiated this conversation with me after every other student had left.

Last week, because of work experience there were only 5 students in the class and I had decided not to use the time to talk as much, but use it to find out how the students were coping particularly with the research assignment I had set them. With less students, checking on his work and asking him questions on one level seem to stand out more so than when the full class was there. He doesn't say anything in class unless asked, and even then is reluctant to say anything at all - hoping that by not answering I would move on, or eventually mumble something when he realises I'm not going to move on. He got quite angry with me earlier in the week and continued with a hostile attitude for the rest of the week. So not only was I surprised that he initiated the conversation, but also by him offering something about himself that he felt strongly about.

I have to admit this kind of event hasn't happened a lot to me so far, but I think this is important.

So much of Christian youth work is just being there for young people: making yourself available and approachable so that they can eventually trust you enough to open up to you and share their lives with you so you can share some thoughts and experiences - especially related to God - with them. But I don't think that is enough.

We need to have a relationship where they can cope with rebuke and correction from you also (in addition to revelation that occurs with the Holy Spirit of course). I don't mean just enduring rebuking while they are without power (which I see as the position youth tend to have within school- and church-settings) but see that rebuking is part of the real caring for them - but I think real rebuking only happens on an individual one-on-one level. Sure you can prompt groups to think abut their own behaviour - but I think real speaking into lives usually is most effective on an one-on-one basis. Now I'm not going to claim that this is the full reality of what has happened with this individual here...

I got the sense that a lot of young people saw the teaching and correction they got in church settings often as what they expected from those settings - as if whoever said it, was saying stuff just because they were supposed to say that stuff. Kind of like students think teachers say teachery stuff because they are teachers and are supposed to say that stuff. There's not so much the connection that this is real to my life right now.

So, how much correction or rebuking have you gotten into?