The Lord's prayer - a modern interpretation

I was recently on an event where I was inspired to encourage others to interpret the Lord's prayer into clear contemporary non-religious phrases while staying true to how most Christians understand it (for older people, use a few more respectful terms).

This was my first result:

Excuse me, 
you big and powerful guy (who could kill us easily), and is far, far away from us.
Religious & non-physical is who you are.

May things be on earth the way they will be after we die - lots of singing and feeling high all the time.
Give us lots of food and choice in all that we can have.

Let us not feel guilty anymore for any bad stuff we’ve done as we try to be nicer to others (but maybe not go too far as to really care about them).

Keep me away from bad stuff (except for the stuff that is really interesting) and give me an escape route whenever I get into trouble.

For you are the biggest superpower around, and can do whatever you want and bomb and destroy whoever you like without accountability.
And we should say great things about you regardless.

Let everyone agree with this.